這些跡象表明你們的感情即將走到盡頭
1. YOU SHOW CONTEMPT FOR EACH OTHER.
1. 你們互相看不起。
According to the Gottman Institute, where pioneering psychologists Dr. John and Julie Gottman spent nearly 40 years studying marriage, showing contempt is by far the strongest predictor that a relationship is about to end. More than just your choice of insults, contempt can be conveyed by rolling your eyes at your partner, showing disdain in the tone of your voice and mocking their concerns--any of which are enough to shake your partner's confidence and their very sense of self. Putting it simply, the loss of mutual respect is a nearly insurmountable obstacle in any relationship.
據(jù)高特曼研究所表示，心理學(xué)家先驅(qū)約翰醫(yī)生和朱莉·高特曼醫(yī)生花了將近40年的時間研究婚姻，看不起對方是迄今為止戀情即將走到盡頭的最準(zhǔn)跡象。蔑視不僅僅是侮辱的選擇，向另一半翻白眼、語氣中帶著不屑、嘲笑他們的擔(dān)憂，這些都是蔑視--任何一種方式都足以動搖另一半的自信、撼動他們的自我意識。簡言之，缺少相互尊重是任何一段戀情都無法逾越的障礙。
2. YOU CRITICIZE EACH OTHER INCESSANTLY.
2. 你們總是批評對方。
When you use criticism as the primary tool to 'correct' your partner's behaviour--and ultimately their personality--it should serve as a warning bell that your relationship is on shaky ground. How can you tell you're being too critical? Watch for the use of generalizations in your statements, including, 'You always,' 'You never,' and 'This always happens...' These sweeping statements could lead your partner to feel that they're 'never' good enough for you--which could be the beginning of the end for your relationship. Is Facebook driving a wedge between you and your partner?
當(dāng)你總是通過批評來'糾正'另一半的行為時--最終糾正他們的性格--這應(yīng)該是你們關(guān)系不穩(wěn)定的警鐘了。怎樣才能看出自己是否太過挑剔了呢？注意自己的概括性言辭，包括，'你總是，''你從來不，'和'總是這樣……'這些一棍子打死的言辭會讓你的另一半覺得，對你而言，他們'從來'都不夠好--這可能是你們戀情終結(jié)的開始。臉書是否讓你和你的另一半越來越遠(yuǎn)了呢？
3. YOU LACK SELF-AWARENESS.
3. 你缺乏自我意識。
If you just read through this list of signs your relationship is about to end and matched each of the faults to your lover's behaviour and not your own, it's highly likely you're lacking in self-awareness. If you're to be at all objective about the challenges you face as a couple, this is a good time to pause and take stock of your own emotional 'baggage' and the manner in which you respond to conflict with your significant other. Without self-awareness, you're ultimately leaving your partner responsible for your own actions (and reactions!), which is a significant roadblock to a happy, fulfilling relationship. Looking for more expert advice? Check out these 7 Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship! Toronto-based relationship and wellness expert Deepak Kashyap provides mindfulness-based counselling for individuals and groups through the Toronto Mindfulness Centre.
如果你剛剛讀完這一列感情即將走到盡頭的種種跡象，發(fā)現(xiàn)這些缺點另一半統(tǒng)統(tǒng)都中，但自己卻一點兒缺點都找不到，那么你很有可能缺乏自我意識。如果你對你們之間面臨的所有挑戰(zhàn)都十分客觀，那么是時候停下來、好好總結(jié)自己的情感'包袱'，以及和另一半發(fā)生沖突時你采取的方式。如果沒有自我意識，那么最終對你的舉止和反應(yīng)負(fù)責(zé)的人將會是你的另一半，而這是一段快樂、充實的戀情的一大障礙。想要了解更多的專家建議？看看這7個戀情長久的秘訣吧！位于多倫多的情感和幸福專家Deepak Kashyap在多倫多意念中心（Toronto Mindfulness Centre）等著您，為個人和團體提供意念咨詢。
1. YOU SHOW CONTEMPT FOR EACH OTHER.
1. 你們互相看不起。
According to the Gottman Institute, where pioneering psychologists Dr. John and Julie Gottman spent nearly 40 years studying marriage, showing contempt is by far the strongest predictor that a relationship is about to end. More than just your choice of insults, contempt can be conveyed by rolling your eyes at your partner, showing disdain in the tone of your voice and mocking their concerns--any of which are enough to shake your partner's confidence and their very sense of self. Putting it simply, the loss of mutual respect is a nearly insurmountable obstacle in any relationship.
據(jù)高特曼研究所表示，心理學(xué)家先驅(qū)約翰醫(yī)生和朱莉·高特曼醫(yī)生花了將近40年的時間研究婚姻，看不起對方是迄今為止戀情即將走到盡頭的最準(zhǔn)跡象。蔑視不僅僅是侮辱的選擇，向另一半翻白眼、語氣中帶著不屑、嘲笑他們的擔(dān)憂，這些都是蔑視--任何一種方式都足以動搖另一半的自信、撼動他們的自我意識。簡言之，缺少相互尊重是任何一段戀情都無法逾越的障礙。
2. YOU CRITICIZE EACH OTHER INCESSANTLY.
2. 你們總是批評對方。
When you use criticism as the primary tool to 'correct' your partner's behaviour--and ultimately their personality--it should serve as a warning bell that your relationship is on shaky ground. How can you tell you're being too critical? Watch for the use of generalizations in your statements, including, 'You always,' 'You never,' and 'This always happens...' These sweeping statements could lead your partner to feel that they're 'never' good enough for you--which could be the beginning of the end for your relationship. Is Facebook driving a wedge between you and your partner?
當(dāng)你總是通過批評來'糾正'另一半的行為時--最終糾正他們的性格--這應(yīng)該是你們關(guān)系不穩(wěn)定的警鐘了。怎樣才能看出自己是否太過挑剔了呢？注意自己的概括性言辭，包括，'你總是，''你從來不，'和'總是這樣……'這些一棍子打死的言辭會讓你的另一半覺得，對你而言，他們'從來'都不夠好--這可能是你們戀情終結(jié)的開始。臉書是否讓你和你的另一半越來越遠(yuǎn)了呢？
3. YOU LACK SELF-AWARENESS.
3. 你缺乏自我意識。
If you just read through this list of signs your relationship is about to end and matched each of the faults to your lover's behaviour and not your own, it's highly likely you're lacking in self-awareness. If you're to be at all objective about the challenges you face as a couple, this is a good time to pause and take stock of your own emotional 'baggage' and the manner in which you respond to conflict with your significant other. Without self-awareness, you're ultimately leaving your partner responsible for your own actions (and reactions!), which is a significant roadblock to a happy, fulfilling relationship. Looking for more expert advice? Check out these 7 Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship! Toronto-based relationship and wellness expert Deepak Kashyap provides mindfulness-based counselling for individuals and groups through the Toronto Mindfulness Centre.
如果你剛剛讀完這一列感情即將走到盡頭的種種跡象，發(fā)現(xiàn)這些缺點另一半統(tǒng)統(tǒng)都中，但自己卻一點兒缺點都找不到，那么你很有可能缺乏自我意識。如果你對你們之間面臨的所有挑戰(zhàn)都十分客觀，那么是時候停下來、好好總結(jié)自己的情感'包袱'，以及和另一半發(fā)生沖突時你采取的方式。如果沒有自我意識，那么最終對你的舉止和反應(yīng)負(fù)責(zé)的人將會是你的另一半，而這是一段快樂、充實的戀情的一大障礙。想要了解更多的專家建議？看看這7個戀情長久的秘訣吧！位于多倫多的情感和幸福專家Deepak Kashyap在多倫多意念中心（Toronto Mindfulness Centre）等著您，為個人和團體提供意念咨詢。
