【課堂新坐標(biāo)】2024屆高考英語(yǔ)（通用版）二輪復(fù)習(xí)書(shū)面表達(dá)專題訓(xùn)練：技法3 豐富充實(shí)的細(xì)節(jié)信息（含解析）
技法3| 豐富充實(shí)的細(xì)節(jié)信息
開(kāi)頭好只是表象內(nèi)容好才是真的好。具體的表達(dá)往往比泛泛而談更能引起讀者的共鳴。換句話說(shuō)寫作需要“真善美”盡量避免“假大空”。那么如何做到內(nèi)容充實(shí)呢？答案就是注重細(xì)節(jié)。例如句子本身沒(méi)什么毛病但是如果我們?cè)倬唧w一些我的哪位朋友？修理的是怎樣的汽車？這樣是不是會(huì)表達(dá)得更好。我們不妨把句子改成My friend his 12－year－old Santana.這樣既增加了詞數(shù)又充實(shí)了細(xì)節(jié)。請(qǐng)看下面的習(xí)作對(duì)比孰優(yōu)孰劣不言而喻。寫作要求：學(xué)校要舉行一場(chǎng)題為“Turning a bad mood into a good one”的英語(yǔ)作文比賽要求你寫一篇文章其中一個(gè)要點(diǎn)是如何調(diào)整心情。習(xí)作一：Keeping a good mood is of great importance.When you feel angry or anxious temper and we should always make ourselves happy.
習(xí)作二：We should learn to keep a good mood.Communicating with family members or friends is the best choice.Also listening to some peaceful music can be helpful.Reading is another way to stop being mad.
(2024·全國(guó)乙卷)假定你是李華暑假想去一家外資公司兼職已寫好申請(qǐng)書(shū)和個(gè)人簡(jiǎn)歷(resume)。給外教Ms Jenkins寫信請(qǐng)她幫你修改所附材料的文字和格式(format)。
注意：1.詞數(shù)100左右；
可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫。考生作文 點(diǎn)評(píng)與優(yōu)化My English is very poorn meet a lot of difficulties in finding a job.So I must try my best to learn English well.If I can't learn English well，I can't find a good job. [細(xì)節(jié)信息點(diǎn)評(píng)]
(1)上面的作文雖然詞數(shù)不算少但有用的句子卻沒(méi)有幾個(gè)屬于“假大空”。
(2)內(nèi)容應(yīng)圍繞著讓對(duì)方改正一些錯(cuò)
[嘗試優(yōu)化]
作文提升[參考范文][滿分作文]perience，I plan to find a part－time job in a foreign capital company.I have already finished my job application form and personal resume.However you a letter，hoping to get your guide and suggestions.You can correct any mistakes you find in them. This summer I intend to take up a part－time job in a foreign companyng experience and meet new friends.My application and resume have been prepared and I sincerely hope you can help me polish them.Firstly，I'm wondering if you can help add some contents.Besides，if there are some mistakes in them，I hope you can help correct them.
技法3| 豐富充實(shí)的細(xì)節(jié)信息
開(kāi)頭好只是表象內(nèi)容好才是真的好。具體的表達(dá)往往比泛泛而談更能引起讀者的共鳴。換句話說(shuō)寫作需要“真善美”盡量避免“假大空”。那么如何做到內(nèi)容充實(shí)呢？答案就是注重細(xì)節(jié)。例如句子本身沒(méi)什么毛病但是如果我們?cè)倬唧w一些我的哪位朋友？修理的是怎樣的汽車？這樣是不是會(huì)表達(dá)得更好。我們不妨把句子改成My friend his 12－year－old Santana.這樣既增加了詞數(shù)又充實(shí)了細(xì)節(jié)。請(qǐng)看下面的習(xí)作對(duì)比孰優(yōu)孰劣不言而喻。寫作要求：學(xué)校要舉行一場(chǎng)題為“Turning a bad mood into a good one”的英語(yǔ)作文比賽要求你寫一篇文章其中一個(gè)要點(diǎn)是如何調(diào)整心情。習(xí)作一：Keeping a good mood is of great importance.When you feel angry or anxious temper and we should always make ourselves happy.
習(xí)作二：We should learn to keep a good mood.Communicating with family members or friends is the best choice.Also listening to some peaceful music can be helpful.Reading is another way to stop being mad.
(2024·全國(guó)乙卷)假定你是李華暑假想去一家外資公司兼職已寫好申請(qǐng)書(shū)和個(gè)人簡(jiǎn)歷(resume)。給外教Ms Jenkins寫信請(qǐng)她幫你修改所附材料的文字和格式(format)。
注意：1.詞數(shù)100左右；
可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫。考生作文 點(diǎn)評(píng)與優(yōu)化My English is very poorn meet a lot of difficulties in finding a job.So I must try my best to learn English well.If I can't learn English well，I can't find a good job. [細(xì)節(jié)信息點(diǎn)評(píng)]
(1)上面的作文雖然詞數(shù)不算少但有用的句子卻沒(méi)有幾個(gè)屬于“假大空”。
(2)內(nèi)容應(yīng)圍繞著讓對(duì)方改正一些錯(cuò)
[嘗試優(yōu)化]
作文提升[參考范文][滿分作文]perience，I plan to find a part－time job in a foreign capital company.I have already finished my job application form and personal resume.However you a letter，hoping to get your guide and suggestions.You can correct any mistakes you find in them. This summer I intend to take up a part－time job in a foreign companyng experience and meet new friends.My application and resume have been prepared and I sincerely hope you can help me polish them.Firstly，I'm wondering if you can help add some contents.Besides，if there are some mistakes in them，I hope you can help correct them.
