托福作文點評:高一生的托福作文

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            托福作文點評:高一生的托福作文

              托福作文時間短,任務大,很多考生會在語法、句型及拼寫等方面犯錯誤。其實這些錯誤在托福備考過程中,大家也可能會犯,不過因為不重視,或者無人指點,所以沒有及時改正。本文中,老師為大家整理一篇高一生的托福作文的點評,希望對大家有所幫助。

              托福寫作真題:

              Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

              托福寫作范文:

              Nowadays the food we eat is prepared fast and it really had an influence in our life. With all the aspects concerned, the change is considered to be negative.

              As the time of the preparation is shortened, the nutrition in the food is reduced as well. Food producers do not focus on how much the protein and the vitamins should be contain, instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need, and this will help them to earn more money. Because of this reason, we can not obtain much nutrition from the food but only calories, and they do nothing to health.

              Another aspect must not be ignored is that food plays an important role in our daily life. Sometimes we use food of various styles, tastes and colors to express our feelings just like musicians use tunes to express their passions. Fast preparation makes it impossible to show its advantage in art. All the food are the same taste, same style, and it makes the meal boring. Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper.

              As you can see, the fast food preparations have many disadvantages although we could not neglect that it supply enough time to those businessmen and businesswomen who are working hard everyday always have no time for meals. But to make a thoroughly thinking, fast food make people fail to take into account that food is also vital in our life and is certainly an art, it still has more negative impacts in our life.

              托福作文點評1:

              instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need;這一句和主旨有抵觸;可以去掉這句,只是說為了賺錢;

              All the food are the same taste, same style;--這個太片面了,感覺不太讓人相信,你可以重點舉一兩個例子說明味道不好,或者讓人沒有胃口;

              Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper. --這里的supper不能代替food;

              總體上來說還是不錯的,句型簡潔,通俗易懂,如果再論證方面多加潤色的話,效果會更好一些,加油!

              托福作文點評2:

              不知道你自己改了沒有,第一句話就有時態的錯誤...判分一下就很不利 。

              觀點基本清楚,有論據,說服力蒼白 。

              作者用的句式對于托福作文來說有25分把,但是句子內容累贅。

              托福作文時間短,任務大,很多考生會在語法、句型及拼寫等方面犯錯誤。其實這些錯誤在托福備考過程中,大家也可能會犯,不過因為不重視,或者無人指點,所以沒有及時改正。本文中,老師為大家整理一篇高一生的托福作文的點評,希望對大家有所幫助。

              托福寫作真題:

              Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

              托福寫作范文:

              Nowadays the food we eat is prepared fast and it really had an influence in our life. With all the aspects concerned, the change is considered to be negative.

              As the time of the preparation is shortened, the nutrition in the food is reduced as well. Food producers do not focus on how much the protein and the vitamins should be contain, instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need, and this will help them to earn more money. Because of this reason, we can not obtain much nutrition from the food but only calories, and they do nothing to health.

              Another aspect must not be ignored is that food plays an important role in our daily life. Sometimes we use food of various styles, tastes and colors to express our feelings just like musicians use tunes to express their passions. Fast preparation makes it impossible to show its advantage in art. All the food are the same taste, same style, and it makes the meal boring. Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper.

              As you can see, the fast food preparations have many disadvantages although we could not neglect that it supply enough time to those businessmen and businesswomen who are working hard everyday always have no time for meals. But to make a thoroughly thinking, fast food make people fail to take into account that food is also vital in our life and is certainly an art, it still has more negative impacts in our life.

              托福作文點評1:

              instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need;這一句和主旨有抵觸;可以去掉這句,只是說為了賺錢;

              All the food are the same taste, same style;--這個太片面了,感覺不太讓人相信,你可以重點舉一兩個例子說明味道不好,或者讓人沒有胃口;

              Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper. --這里的supper不能代替food;

              總體上來說還是不錯的,句型簡潔,通俗易懂,如果再論證方面多加潤色的話,效果會更好一些,加油!

              托福作文點評2:

              不知道你自己改了沒有,第一句話就有時態的錯誤...判分一下就很不利 。

              觀點基本清楚,有論據,說服力蒼白 。

              作者用的句式對于托福作文來說有25分把,但是句子內容累贅。

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