SAT官方指南作文范例解析 含范文
一、寫作題目
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below
The old saying, be careful what you wish for, may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow ones perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of lifes difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once success is achieved than they were before.
Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
題目翻譯：
那句古老的諺語當心你所期盼的東西不失為一句恰當的警示。實現特定目標的動機能夠危險地使一個人的觀念變得狹隘，并且助長這樣一種幻想：一次努力后的成功能夠解決生活中的所有問題。事實上，成功有時候會帶來無法預料的后果。那些為著實現某一目標而奮斗的人常常發現，成功實現后他們的生活變得比過去更糟了。
命題：成功可以是災難性的嗎?
二、6分范文
The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands. Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.
Throughout history, we have seen success used wrongfully in the hands of the unworthy. Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish goals. Nero, the Roman emperor who beat his pregnant wife to death and has been suspected of instigating the great fire of Rome in an attempt to boost his own political influence; Henry VIII of England, for whom women were beheaded for not bearing him a son, and who is rumored to have eaten eight chickens a night while English peasants starved; The notorious Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, who carried out the Spanish Inquisition The list is endless. Even in literature, we see the corruption and downfall of society and mankind as a whole as a result of the abuse of success in the possession of those who do not deserve it, as seen in William Shakespeares tragedy of King Lear. In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril. This order only returns to a slight degree when virtue returns to England. Success is hazardous when awarded to the unvirtuous.
However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. This proves to be just more disastrous to the individual than to anyone else, since it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone. Success is meant to be grown upon, not exploited or feared.
Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element. Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you it is about using ones newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others. If one reflects on the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one will never go astray: To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.
范文翻譯：
當成功被錯誤的人掌握時，其力量將是災難性的。世上自然有這樣的人：他們總是盡力操縱局面，實現自我成功，而不把周圍的人生死放在眼里。另一方面，還有這樣的人，他們追求的目標不一定自私，但就是不知道怎么對待取得的成功，因此落得自我毀滅的下場。
縱觀歷史，可見不肖之徒妄用手中的成功。那些強大的帝王領袖成功獲取了領導權，又妄用其影響力以實現自己自私的(有時是變態的)目的。羅馬皇帝尼祿(Nero)將懷孕的妻子鞭打致死，有人懷疑，他曾為了擢升自己的政治影響力而點燃羅馬大火;英國國王亨利八世(Henry VIII of England)因為女人沒能為他生下王子而將其送上斷頭臺，據傳，在英國農民忍饑挨餓的時候，他卻能一晚上吃掉8只雞;還有西班牙臭名昭著的費迪南德和伊莎貝拉(Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain)，他們在西班牙設立起進行異端審判的宗教法庭。名單無窮無盡。即使在文學作品里，我們也能看見因為本不配得到成功的人濫用成功而對整個社會和人類造成的腐敗和衰落，正如我們在威廉莎士比亞的悲劇《李爾王》(King Lear)中所見的那樣。故事中，當李爾王將權力移交給邪惡的女兒瑞根和高納里爾后，混亂取代了社會秩序，只有當美德(以李爾王的好女兒考蒂利亞偉化身)回歸英國之后，秩序才稍稍恢復。當成功落入無德之人手中時，成功是危險的。
然而，有些人的愿望不一定邪惡或貪婪，只是他們不知道如何對待成功。相比對其他人而言，這種情況對當事人來說更具災難性，因為他會毀掉自己的成功，回到原來的舒適區。成功應該使人成長，而不應被妄用，也不應使人害怕。
當卑鄙的人或不成熟的人取得成功時，成功是最具災難性的。成功不是以犧牲身邊人為代價換取幸福，而是用剛剛得到的幸福去改善其他人的生活。如果一個人能夠仔細思考拉爾夫沃爾多愛默生(Ralph Waldo Emerson)的話：成功就是知道有人因為你的存在而呼吸得更輕松。，他就永不會誤入歧途。
三、得分點詳解
1 effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position
圍繞論題有效、深刻地發展一個論點，運用貼切的事例、因果分析和其他證據支持論點，從而展示出色的思辨能力。
針對命題成功可以是災難性的嗎?，本文提出論點 當成功被錯誤的人掌握時，其力量將是災難性的。接下來，作者進一步指出，錯誤的人分為兩類：第一類人為了實現自我成功，而不把周圍的人生死放在眼里;另一類人追求的目標不一定自私，但就是不知道怎么對待取得的成功，因此落得自我毀滅的下場。(Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.)
作者分別從歷史和文學兩方面對自私自利的人成功后帶來災難進行了事例論證。歷史人物包括羅馬皇帝尼祿(Nero)，英國國王亨利八世(Henry VIII of England)，以及西班牙的費迪南和伊莎貝拉(Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain)。他們成功地取得了領導權，卻妄用其影響力以實現自己自私的(有時是變態的)目的 (Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish goals.)，從而給人民帶來了災難。在此作者運用列舉法，并沒有對每個人物做過多細節性的渲染，而是選取了他們最具代表性的行為，雖然篇幅簡短，卻顯得論據充足，頗有氣勢。作者還選取了文學人物，李爾王的壞女兒瑞根和高納里爾(Regan and Goneril)作為事例。她們也成功地取得了王位，卻使得混亂取代了社會秩序 (In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril.)
對于那些因為不懂得如何對待成功而自取毀滅的人，作者并沒有給出具體事例，只是分析到他們毀掉成功的原因是因為害怕成功，希望回到原來的舒適區 。(it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone.)
在結尾段，作者總結到：當卑鄙的人或不成熟的人取得成功時，成功是最具災難性的。( Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element.)并提出對成功的正確認識：成功不是以犧牲身邊人為代價換取幸福，而是用剛剛得到的幸福去改善其他人的生活。( Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you it is about using ones newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others.)最后，作者引用了拉爾夫沃爾多愛默生(Ralph Waldo Emerson)的話：成功就是知道有人因為你的存在而呼吸得更輕松。 (To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.)，并指出如果一個人能夠仔細思考這句話，他就不會誤入歧途，可謂給成功帶來災難的現象開出了一劑藥方，升華了主題。
整篇文章綜合運用了事例、分析和引用來證明論點，展現了出色的思辨能力。
2 is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas
結構合理，中心明確，思路連貫，銜接自然。
文章采用總-分-總的結構，首段提出論點，中間段用事例證明論點，末段引經據典，總結事例并升華主題。在敘述事例的時候，作者綜合運用了 On the other hand, but, thus, since等過渡詞，以及過渡句，如第二段開頭的 However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. 文章在語義銜接上也十分流暢。
全文緊扣論點，不枝不蔓，起承轉合十分得體。
3 exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary
顯示運用語言的技巧，詞匯豐富、準確、恰當
一、寫作題目
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below
The old saying, be careful what you wish for, may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow ones perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of lifes difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once success is achieved than they were before.
Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
題目翻譯：
那句古老的諺語當心你所期盼的東西不失為一句恰當的警示。實現特定目標的動機能夠危險地使一個人的觀念變得狹隘，并且助長這樣一種幻想：一次努力后的成功能夠解決生活中的所有問題。事實上，成功有時候會帶來無法預料的后果。那些為著實現某一目標而奮斗的人常常發現，成功實現后他們的生活變得比過去更糟了。
命題：成功可以是災難性的嗎?
二、6分范文
The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands. Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.
Throughout history, we have seen success used wrongfully in the hands of the unworthy. Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish goals. Nero, the Roman emperor who beat his pregnant wife to death and has been suspected of instigating the great fire of Rome in an attempt to boost his own political influence; Henry VIII of England, for whom women were beheaded for not bearing him a son, and who is rumored to have eaten eight chickens a night while English peasants starved; The notorious Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, who carried out the Spanish Inquisition The list is endless. Even in literature, we see the corruption and downfall of society and mankind as a whole as a result of the abuse of success in the possession of those who do not deserve it, as seen in William Shakespeares tragedy of King Lear. In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril. This order only returns to a slight degree when virtue returns to England. Success is hazardous when awarded to the unvirtuous.
However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. This proves to be just more disastrous to the individual than to anyone else, since it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone. Success is meant to be grown upon, not exploited or feared.
Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element. Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you it is about using ones newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others. If one reflects on the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one will never go astray: To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.
范文翻譯：
當成功被錯誤的人掌握時，其力量將是災難性的。世上自然有這樣的人：他們總是盡力操縱局面，實現自我成功，而不把周圍的人生死放在眼里。另一方面，還有這樣的人，他們追求的目標不一定自私，但就是不知道怎么對待取得的成功，因此落得自我毀滅的下場。
縱觀歷史，可見不肖之徒妄用手中的成功。那些強大的帝王領袖成功獲取了領導權，又妄用其影響力以實現自己自私的(有時是變態的)目的。羅馬皇帝尼祿(Nero)將懷孕的妻子鞭打致死，有人懷疑，他曾為了擢升自己的政治影響力而點燃羅馬大火;英國國王亨利八世(Henry VIII of England)因為女人沒能為他生下王子而將其送上斷頭臺，據傳，在英國農民忍饑挨餓的時候，他卻能一晚上吃掉8只雞;還有西班牙臭名昭著的費迪南德和伊莎貝拉(Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain)，他們在西班牙設立起進行異端審判的宗教法庭。名單無窮無盡。即使在文學作品里，我們也能看見因為本不配得到成功的人濫用成功而對整個社會和人類造成的腐敗和衰落，正如我們在威廉莎士比亞的悲劇《李爾王》(King Lear)中所見的那樣。故事中，當李爾王將權力移交給邪惡的女兒瑞根和高納里爾后，混亂取代了社會秩序，只有當美德(以李爾王的好女兒考蒂利亞偉化身)回歸英國之后，秩序才稍稍恢復。當成功落入無德之人手中時，成功是危險的。
然而，有些人的愿望不一定邪惡或貪婪，只是他們不知道如何對待成功。相比對其他人而言，這種情況對當事人來說更具災難性，因為他會毀掉自己的成功，回到原來的舒適區。成功應該使人成長，而不應被妄用，也不應使人害怕。
當卑鄙的人或不成熟的人取得成功時，成功是最具災難性的。成功不是以犧牲身邊人為代價換取幸福，而是用剛剛得到的幸福去改善其他人的生活。如果一個人能夠仔細思考拉爾夫沃爾多愛默生(Ralph Waldo Emerson)的話：成功就是知道有人因為你的存在而呼吸得更輕松。，他就永不會誤入歧途。
三、得分點詳解
1 effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position
圍繞論題有效、深刻地發展一個論點，運用貼切的事例、因果分析和其他證據支持論點，從而展示出色的思辨能力。
針對命題成功可以是災難性的嗎?，本文提出論點 當成功被錯誤的人掌握時，其力量將是災難性的。接下來，作者進一步指出，錯誤的人分為兩類：第一類人為了實現自我成功，而不把周圍的人生死放在眼里;另一類人追求的目標不一定自私，但就是不知道怎么對待取得的成功，因此落得自我毀滅的下場。(Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.)
作者分別從歷史和文學兩方面對自私自利的人成功后帶來災難進行了事例論證。歷史人物包括羅馬皇帝尼祿(Nero)，英國國王亨利八世(Henry VIII of England)，以及西班牙的費迪南和伊莎貝拉(Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain)。他們成功地取得了領導權，卻妄用其影響力以實現自己自私的(有時是變態的)目的 (Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish goals.)，從而給人民帶來了災難。在此作者運用列舉法，并沒有對每個人物做過多細節性的渲染，而是選取了他們最具代表性的行為，雖然篇幅簡短，卻顯得論據充足，頗有氣勢。作者還選取了文學人物，李爾王的壞女兒瑞根和高納里爾(Regan and Goneril)作為事例。她們也成功地取得了王位，卻使得混亂取代了社會秩序 (In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril.)
對于那些因為不懂得如何對待成功而自取毀滅的人，作者并沒有給出具體事例，只是分析到他們毀掉成功的原因是因為害怕成功，希望回到原來的舒適區 。(it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone.)
在結尾段，作者總結到：當卑鄙的人或不成熟的人取得成功時，成功是最具災難性的。( Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element.)并提出對成功的正確認識：成功不是以犧牲身邊人為代價換取幸福，而是用剛剛得到的幸福去改善其他人的生活。( Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you it is about using ones newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others.)最后，作者引用了拉爾夫沃爾多愛默生(Ralph Waldo Emerson)的話：成功就是知道有人因為你的存在而呼吸得更輕松。 (To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.)，并指出如果一個人能夠仔細思考這句話，他就不會誤入歧途，可謂給成功帶來災難的現象開出了一劑藥方，升華了主題。
整篇文章綜合運用了事例、分析和引用來證明論點，展現了出色的思辨能力。
2 is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas
結構合理，中心明確，思路連貫，銜接自然。
文章采用總-分-總的結構，首段提出論點，中間段用事例證明論點，末段引經據典，總結事例并升華主題。在敘述事例的時候，作者綜合運用了 On the other hand, but, thus, since等過渡詞，以及過渡句，如第二段開頭的 However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. 文章在語義銜接上也十分流暢。
全文緊扣論點，不枝不蔓，起承轉合十分得體。
3 exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary
顯示運用語言的技巧，詞匯豐富、準確、恰當
