高中英語語法-習作評析(6)
習作評析(6)
習作題目2
請根據下面圖表所示內容,用英語寫一篇短文,比較高中學生減負前后的有關情況。
注意:
1. 短文須包括所有圖表內容,可以適當增加細節,使短文連貫;
2. 詞數 100 左右。
「學生原文」
Senior middle school students were heavily burdened with all kinds of homework. In the past, they took(1) about 6.5 hours in their classroom(2) a day. At home it took them 5 hours to finish their homework. So they only got less than 7 hours to sleep(3)。 Their free time was only three hours. As a result, their health was badly destroyed.(4)
Now the things(5) are getting better. About five hours is spent in class and hours for homework have reduced two hours(6)。 So that they have eight hours' sleep and also two other hours to do whatever they like(7)。
「名師點評」
本文要點齊全,語句通順,行文連貫,各種句型使用恰當,但也存在同義詞誤用,語態,主謂不一致等少量錯誤。如下:
( 1 ) take 的主語不能是人,此處應該為 spent .
( 2 )此處應是 classrooms ,因為前面有 their 來修飾。
( 3 )此處應該用 hours' sleep 更符合英語習慣。
( 4 )此處應是 Their health was badly damaged.
( 5 ) things 為情況前面不用冠詞。
( 6 )應改為: hours for homework have been reduced to two hours.
( 7 )此處應為: also two more hours to do whatever they like.
「精品范文」
Senior middle school students were heavily burdened with all kinds of homework. In the past, they spent about 6.5 hours in their classroom a day. At home, it took them 5 hours to finish their homework. So they only got less than 7 hours' sleep. Their free time was only three hours. As a result, their health was badly damaged.
Now the things are getting better. About five hours are spent in class and the time for homework had been reduced two hours. So that they have eight hours' sleep and also two more hours to do whatever they like.
習作評析(6)
習作題目2
請根據下面圖表所示內容,用英語寫一篇短文,比較高中學生減負前后的有關情況。
注意:
1. 短文須包括所有圖表內容,可以適當增加細節,使短文連貫;
2. 詞數 100 左右。
「學生原文」
Senior middle school students were heavily burdened with all kinds of homework. In the past, they took(1) about 6.5 hours in their classroom(2) a day. At home it took them 5 hours to finish their homework. So they only got less than 7 hours to sleep(3)。 Their free time was only three hours. As a result, their health was badly destroyed.(4)
Now the things(5) are getting better. About five hours is spent in class and hours for homework have reduced two hours(6)。 So that they have eight hours' sleep and also two other hours to do whatever they like(7)。
「名師點評」
本文要點齊全,語句通順,行文連貫,各種句型使用恰當,但也存在同義詞誤用,語態,主謂不一致等少量錯誤。如下:
( 1 ) take 的主語不能是人,此處應該為 spent .
( 2 )此處應是 classrooms ,因為前面有 their 來修飾。
( 3 )此處應該用 hours' sleep 更符合英語習慣。
( 4 )此處應是 Their health was badly damaged.
( 5 ) things 為情況前面不用冠詞。
( 6 )應改為: hours for homework have been reduced to two hours.
( 7 )此處應為: also two more hours to do whatever they like.
「精品范文」
Senior middle school students were heavily burdened with all kinds of homework. In the past, they spent about 6.5 hours in their classroom a day. At home, it took them 5 hours to finish their homework. So they only got less than 7 hours' sleep. Their free time was only three hours. As a result, their health was badly damaged.
Now the things are getting better. About five hours are spent in class and the time for homework had been reduced two hours. So that they have eight hours' sleep and also two more hours to do whatever they like.