一篇SAT作文批改實(shí)例講解
下面是一篇SAT作文,我們來看一下專業(yè)的老師對于這篇文章的批改,好的地方大家可以吸取其精華,剔除其糟粕,要時(shí)刻記住,邏輯和表達(dá)是一篇優(yōu)秀文章的核心。
Topic: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is?
Original
Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive. To those who only see one facet of an event, things invariably seem simple and single-sided. But to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface, there is always a however.
One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929. In the dazzling twentieth, the American bull market was so financially inviting that even the American middle class poured its money into the stock market, like the New York Stock Exchange. However, on October 4, 1929, the American economy came to an abrupt halt when the New York Stock Exchange crashed. The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare. Consequently, the Great Depression befell, leaving American economy crippling.
However, the American president Roosevelt insightfully staged a series of measures to save the falling economy. Just like a beam of sunlight expels the black cloud in the sky, Roosevelt brought a beam of hope to American people, saving the whole nation from the suicidal pessimism. Some may deem the Great Depression as an outright catastrophe to America. Yet beneath the bad impacts it heaved upon the country, we may find many benefits resulted. It is after the Great Depression that American people began to hold dear the value of prudence when investing in the stock market. They are more likely to avoid being overwhelmed by the seemingly sweeping optimism of current financial situations. The prophets on economy, formerly imprudent and arbitrary, are learning to be more careful and perspicacious when making predictions to the public. Thus, from this disaster, American people benefit from the financial fiasco and forged some new and beneficial habits that they previously lacked.
In addition, the event I went through also supports this thesis. In the beginning of my first high-school semester, I met my mathematics teacher, an old man with stony face and low-key voice. He was, by the first glance, cold and uninteresting. Nevertheless, notonly he taught very good math, but he also owned strong charisma, such as humor and friendliness. He has a wide breadth of knowledge, so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories, we comprehend them better. Henceforth, I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable.
Every coin has two side. We learn facts though exploring carefully, coupled with analyzing evenhandedly. Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective.
419 words
Topic: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is?
原題:是否有些事情并非跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的?
立論:有些事情的確跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的。
駁論:有些事情并非跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的。
Revised by Luke
Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive. To those who only see one facet of an event, things invariably seem simple and single-sided. However to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface, there is always a BUT. 首段不錯(cuò),我只做小改動。
One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929.On October 4th, the American economy came to an abrupt turning point from soar to slump when the New York Stock Exchange crashed. The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare. When the Great Depression befell, almost all were very pessimistic about American economy. Was the situation really as it seemed to be?
President Roosevelt said no. . . He staged a series of measures to stimulate the falling economy and regulate the financial market. These measures and regulations have ensured a sound and steady growth for the next seventy years. In this sense, the Depression is not the same as it seems to be.
這個(gè)例子應(yīng)該重點(diǎn)強(qiáng)調(diào)在股災(zāi)后的悲觀氣氛中,其實(shí)存在機(jī)會。股災(zāi)后的措施保證了美國經(jīng)濟(jì)長期穩(wěn)定發(fā)展。還可以據(jù)汶川地震的例子:災(zāi)后重建對當(dāng)?shù)亟?jīng)濟(jì)有利、防震減災(zāi)經(jīng)驗(yàn)增加。這個(gè)立場類似塞翁失馬焉知非福。
In addition, the event I went through also supports this thesis. In the beginning of my first high-school semester, I met my mathematics teacher, an old man with stony face and low-key voice. He was, by the first glance, cold and uninteresting. Nevertheless, not only he taught very good math, but he also owned strong charisma, such as humor and friendliness. He has a wide breadth of knowledge, so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories, we comprehend them better. Henceforth, I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable.
Every coin has two side. We learn facts though exploring carefully, coupled with analyzing evenhandedly. Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective.
Word count
Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive. To those who only see one facet of an event, things invariably seem simple and single-sided. However to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface, there is always a BUT.
One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929. On October 4th, the American economy came to an abrupt turning point from soar to slump when the New York Stock Exchange crashed. The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare. When the Great Depression befell, almost all were very pessimistic about American economy. Was the situation really as it seemed to be?
President Roosevelt said no. He staged a series of measures to stimulate the falling economy and regulate the financial market. These measures and regulations have ensured a sound and steady growth for the next seventy years. In this sense, the Depression is not the same as it seems to be.
In addition, the event I went through also supports this thesis. In the beginning of my first high-school semester, I met my mathematics teacher, an old man with stony face and low-key voice. He was, by the first glance, cold and uninteresting. Nevertheless, not only he taught very good math, but he also owned strong charisma, such as humor and friendliness. He has a wide breadth of knowledge, so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories, we comprehend them better. Henceforth, I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable.
Every coin has two side. We learn facts though exploring carefully, coupled with analyzing evenhandedly. Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective.
下面是一篇SAT作文,我們來看一下專業(yè)的老師對于這篇文章的批改,好的地方大家可以吸取其精華,剔除其糟粕,要時(shí)刻記住,邏輯和表達(dá)是一篇優(yōu)秀文章的核心。
Topic: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is?
Original
Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive. To those who only see one facet of an event, things invariably seem simple and single-sided. But to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface, there is always a however.
One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929. In the dazzling twentieth, the American bull market was so financially inviting that even the American middle class poured its money into the stock market, like the New York Stock Exchange. However, on October 4, 1929, the American economy came to an abrupt halt when the New York Stock Exchange crashed. The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare. Consequently, the Great Depression befell, leaving American economy crippling.
However, the American president Roosevelt insightfully staged a series of measures to save the falling economy. Just like a beam of sunlight expels the black cloud in the sky, Roosevelt brought a beam of hope to American people, saving the whole nation from the suicidal pessimism. Some may deem the Great Depression as an outright catastrophe to America. Yet beneath the bad impacts it heaved upon the country, we may find many benefits resulted. It is after the Great Depression that American people began to hold dear the value of prudence when investing in the stock market. They are more likely to avoid being overwhelmed by the seemingly sweeping optimism of current financial situations. The prophets on economy, formerly imprudent and arbitrary, are learning to be more careful and perspicacious when making predictions to the public. Thus, from this disaster, American people benefit from the financial fiasco and forged some new and beneficial habits that they previously lacked.
In addition, the event I went through also supports this thesis. In the beginning of my first high-school semester, I met my mathematics teacher, an old man with stony face and low-key voice. He was, by the first glance, cold and uninteresting. Nevertheless, notonly he taught very good math, but he also owned strong charisma, such as humor and friendliness. He has a wide breadth of knowledge, so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories, we comprehend them better. Henceforth, I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable.
Every coin has two side. We learn facts though exploring carefully, coupled with analyzing evenhandedly. Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective.
419 words
Topic: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is?
原題:是否有些事情并非跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的?
立論:有些事情的確跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的。
駁論:有些事情并非跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的。
Revised by Luke
Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive. To those who only see one facet of an event, things invariably seem simple and single-sided. However to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface, there is always a BUT. 首段不錯(cuò),我只做小改動。
One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929.On October 4th, the American economy came to an abrupt turning point from soar to slump when the New York Stock Exchange crashed. The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare. When the Great Depression befell, almost all were very pessimistic about American economy. Was the situation really as it seemed to be?
President Roosevelt said no. . . He staged a series of measures to stimulate the falling economy and regulate the financial market. These measures and regulations have ensured a sound and steady growth for the next seventy years. In this sense, the Depression is not the same as it seems to be.
這個(gè)例子應(yīng)該重點(diǎn)強(qiáng)調(diào)在股災(zāi)后的悲觀氣氛中,其實(shí)存在機(jī)會。股災(zāi)后的措施保證了美國經(jīng)濟(jì)長期穩(wěn)定發(fā)展。還可以據(jù)汶川地震的例子:災(zāi)后重建對當(dāng)?shù)亟?jīng)濟(jì)有利、防震減災(zāi)經(jīng)驗(yàn)增加。這個(gè)立場類似塞翁失馬焉知非福。
In addition, the event I went through also supports this thesis. In the beginning of my first high-school semester, I met my mathematics teacher, an old man with stony face and low-key voice. He was, by the first glance, cold and uninteresting. Nevertheless, not only he taught very good math, but he also owned strong charisma, such as humor and friendliness. He has a wide breadth of knowledge, so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories, we comprehend them better. Henceforth, I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable.
Every coin has two side. We learn facts though exploring carefully, coupled with analyzing evenhandedly. Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective.
Word count
Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive. To those who only see one facet of an event, things invariably seem simple and single-sided. However to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface, there is always a BUT.
One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929. On October 4th, the American economy came to an abrupt turning point from soar to slump when the New York Stock Exchange crashed. The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare. When the Great Depression befell, almost all were very pessimistic about American economy. Was the situation really as it seemed to be?
President Roosevelt said no. He staged a series of measures to stimulate the falling economy and regulate the financial market. These measures and regulations have ensured a sound and steady growth for the next seventy years. In this sense, the Depression is not the same as it seems to be.
In addition, the event I went through also supports this thesis. In the beginning of my first high-school semester, I met my mathematics teacher, an old man with stony face and low-key voice. He was, by the first glance, cold and uninteresting. Nevertheless, not only he taught very good math, but he also owned strong charisma, such as humor and friendliness. He has a wide breadth of knowledge, so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories, we comprehend them better. Henceforth, I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable.
Every coin has two side. We learn facts though exploring carefully, coupled with analyzing evenhandedly. Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective.